A Relationship with Time

There are five “keystone” relationships that I believe define who we are as individuals.

1. Our Relationship with Parents
2. Our Relationship with Money
3. Our Relationship with Time
4. Our Relationship with “God” (or lack thereof)
5. Our Relationship with Ourselves

While I’ll come to the others at a later date, I’d like to take three minutes today to unpack our relationship with time.

In the midst of the current world chaos, some people have suddenly fallen into a perceived abundance of time while some have fallen into a perceived scarcity of it.

How do we choose to spend our time?

We all have some non-discretionary responsibilities in our lives (work to feed and shelter ourselves, personal health and wellness, care for our children).

I would argue, though, that much more of our time is discretionary than we might think. When someone says, “I don’t have the time,” they’re really just saying, “this isn’t a priority for me.”

Many people stumble into what they believe is the only life path available to them. This is typically based on their expectations of themselves or the expectations of their parents.

There are, however, many attainable and legitimate paths.

When I spent six months living out of a van on federal land, I met people who were posted up in the wilderness, feeding and sheltering themselves with a few hundred dollars a month. This is an attainable and legitimate life path.

While I was living in New York City, I knew people who were making six figures, working 80 hours/week, struggling to find time to spend the money they earned. This is an attainable and legitimate life path.

When in Indonesia, I met people for whom family was so important, that they chose to have seven or eight children…despite the overwhelming sacrifice that came along. This is an attainable and legitimate life path.

While traveling through Laos, I spoke with monks who’d decided to give up pretty much everything in dedication of their Buddhist practice. This is an attainable and legitimate life path.

Our life path is nothing more than a culmination of the decisions we make day to day about how we choose to spend our time.

So what is a productive use of our time?

To some, an 80 hour/week job is a productive use of time.

To some, a weekend of volunteer work is a productive use of time.

To some, a night out drinking with friends is a productive use of time.

To some, a four hour workout is a productive use of time.

Productivity is not objective, but rather a matter of priority.

Our relationship with time is a reflection of the intentionality with which we align our time and our personal values. Productivity can be measured by the strength of this alignment.

It doesn’t matter how you spend your time. It doesn’t matter what you personally value.

What matters is that we are proactive and intentional about prioritizing our time to promote our personal values. Only then will we live fulfilled and die complete.

Which leaves us with three questions:

1. How do you spend your time?
2. What are your personal values?
3. How strong is the alignment between the two?

Take a few minutes today to really think through how you spend your time.

There are 168 hours in each week…jot down on a piece of paper how it is that you’re spending these hours.

An example might look like:

168 Hours/Week

• 40: Work
• 56: Sleep
• 7: Social Media
• 4: Exercise
• 14: Relationship with Partner and Children
• 7: TV
• …

Is this exercise easy or is it difficult? How much of your time each week is spent predictably and how much is spontaneous? Does anything surprise you about this visualization of your time?

We’ll dive into personal values and time/value alignment in my next two posts.

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